The Best and Worst Stuff of 2008

The year is quickly drawing to a close so without further ado, here is Floating Robot's List of the Best and Worst Stuff of 2008!

The Best:

Movie: It's a tie! Between a gay dude and a robot!

Milk- Social relevance? Check. Great acting? Check. James Franco looking mega foxy? Check! Throw a little controversy into the mix and we've got one hell of a movie on our hands.

WALL·E- When you combine a lonely robot trying to save the world, songs from a Broadway musical, and stunning animation, you are sure to win my heart.

Song: Collapsing At Your Doorstep- Air France

Listening to this song is like being inside a fantasy world. Kind of like a dream, isn't it? No... better.

Marketing Campaign: Coraline

Ok so I'm a little biased because I've been working on the campaign, but this shit is pretty awesome. In case you haven't heard, Focus Features is releasing Coraline in 2009. The film is an adaptation of a book by Neil Gaiman, written for the screen and directed by Henry Selick of Nightmare Before Christmas fame and is the first stop-motion animation film to be shot in 3D. Anyways, 50 bloggers who are enthusiasts of Neil Gaiman and/or stop motion received really cool, personalized boxes in the mail with all sorts of Coraline goodies. You can see a list and pictures of all the boxes here.

Reality Show: Project Runway This was probably the last good season of my all-time favorite reality show, if not the last season ever. While it started off slow, things turned around when three very talented ladies landed spots in the finale show at Bryant Park. When Leanne won, it was the icing on the cake. I love you Leanne! Will you please marry me?

Scripted TV Show: True Blood So I watched every episode of this show on demand in 3 days. Am I crazy? Obviously. But is this show crazy good? You'd better believe it.

Book: I Was Told There’d Be Cake by Sloane Crosley This funny collection of essays was recommended to me by my mom because it was written by a girl who seemed a lot like me. Sloane Crosley's debut novel is painfully hilarious, witty and at times like watching a train wreck. Very charming in a Larry David-esque way and right up my alley.

Celebrity Gossip Providers: Sarah Palin Ok, it wouldn't have been so funny if this bitch was our VP, but now that she's not I can say "Thanks for the good times Sarah P!" From her knocked up daughter, to gotcha journalism, to the the flute playing to the turkey grinding interview, the fun just never stops. Plus, I wrote about visiting her mansion and a lot of people seemed to notice, so that was nice too.

The Worst:

Movie: Smart People I went to see this movie with my mom and brother when we all met up in Seattle. It was our idea of quality family time because the Robin family is... you know.. full of smart people. *cough* Anyway, as we were sitting in the theater watching Ellen Page and Dennis Quaid's shiteous, pseudo-intellectual performances, my brother threw his head in his hands and began moaning. "I can't stand another second of this! I have to walk out!" he whined. I forced him to stay in the theater and endure the rest of miserable movie which was riddled with unlikable characters and Sarah Jessica Parker's horse face. I know- I'm just as bad as Hitler.

Song: When I Grow Up- The Pussycat Dolls

I don't even have the appropriate words to express just how much this song has widdled away at my sanity this year. Watch the video if you must, but be forewarned- it may cause severe brain damage.

Marketing Campaign: Pizza Hut

As my old boss Ian Schafer mentioned, this "grass roots" marketing campaign for Pizza Hut which features two assholes belittling mom and pop pizza shops is rage-endusing. Not really a good strategy for making people like your brand.

Reality Show: The Real Housewives- Atlanta

After watching The Real Housewives of New York City, I had some hope for this new season. But watching these Atlanta ladies was more depressing and embarrassing than interesting. I mean, Nene was fun and stuff, but when cast members pretend to have cancer in order to get sympathy, I have to turn the channel.

Scripted TV Show: Life On Mars

Galen keeps trying to force me to get into this show, but every time I watch it I'm overwhelmed by the terrible writing. The dialogue is atrocious and the storylines are boring. I'd get into more detail but I would sicken myself with disgust. Sorry G, I still love you!

Book: My Dad, John McCain by Meghan McCain

If you didn't read this god awful book, don't worry. The Huffington Post breaks the whole thing down for you here. Meghan explains why her dad would make a good president by highlighting how he became a war hero and how he met her mother, but she skipped over the parts where he abandons his first wife and assists in cheating a bunch of people out of their life savings.

Celebrity Gossip Providers: Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt

As I'm typing this, I'm tuning in to The Hills, watching Heidi's mom cry about her fake marriage to the despicable, flesh-color mustachioed Spencer. They are terrible human beings, but I am even more terrible for wasting a half hour every week listening to their made up family drama and watching Heidi "work" at her pretend job. I can't help it though- it's so fascinating to watch people whose every action is a calculated publicity stunt.

What the Hell Is Wrong With Me?

Sometimes I look at my life and say, "Hey lady. You're doing ok. You have a nice boyfriend and a very cute dog and an okay job and you live in one of the coolest cities in the world."

And then other times, I see certain stuff that makes me want to gouge out my eyes with my bic pen and bash my head against my cubicle wall until in breaks open and my brain falls into the garbage can where the cleaning lady will collect it and tie it up in a bag with a bunch of used tissues and granola bar wrappers.

One such thing that causes this extreme anguish is the fact that this little shit named Alex Greven wrote a book that was published by Harper Collins in November. He is 9. His book, entitled "How to Talk to Girls" (ooo how CUTE! and by CUTE! I mean so sickening that it makes me throw up in my mouth) was just optioned by Fox. They are going to make Alex's book into a movie. The Hollywood Reporter says that some of the adivce in his book includes:

Comb your hair and don't wear sweats; control your hyperness and cut down on sugar if necessary; a crush is like a love disease that can drive you mad; it is easy to spot pretty girls because they have big earrings, fancy dresses and all the jewelry but are like cars that need a lot of oil.

I can't wait to see this in the theaters when Seth Rogen is playing the guy who can't get girls and Drew Barrymore is the pretty, loveable girl he wants to get with if only he could just stop wearing sweats! He tries desperately to change and is mistaken for a homosexual after combing his hair the wrong way. Hilarity ensues before he gets Drew and learns a little about himself in the process.

So 9 year olds can get movie deals while I struggle to write and pay my rent. That seems pretty fair.

If you like Shitty Music, read Marooned

I was listening to NPR's soundcheck this weekend and I heard an interview with Phil Freeman, editor of the new book "Marooned." In this book, 20 critics decide which album they'd take with them if they had to live on a desert island, and then write an essay on their desert island disc. The editor claims that this question is very relevant and important to answer. While I can't agree that it's important to decide which disc you'd choose to listen to for eternity, I do think it's sort of an interesting question. As I listened to Phil's pretentious chatter about how he chose the best critics ("my initial writers' criteria was-- no writers over 40") my hatred for him grew steadily. He mentioned that he didn't want to pick anyone who was into "indie/alternative/college rock" because in his words "this is the worst kind of music." Hmmm. Interesting for someone who is the self-proclaimed master of music to completely dismiss several genres. Then, he went on to say that he especially did not want to select a critic who would choose an album by what he proclaims to be "the worst band in the history of music"-- Pavement. It was at this point that Mr. Freeman officially solidified his status as a douche bag.

Good old Phil went on to share with the world his important statement that "heavy metal is the only thing keeping rock music alive at this point." His personal choice for his desert island album? No Remorse by Motorhead. Soundcheck played a track from this CD called Ace of Spades and it's the most painful, ridiculous garbage I've ever listened to. Let's just take a look at the lyrics, shall we?

If you like to gamble, I tell you I'm your man,

You win some, lose some, all the same to me,

The pleasure is to play, makes no difference what you say,

I don't share your greed, the only card I need is

The Ace Of Spades

Playing for the high one, dancing with the devil,

Going with the flow, it's all the same to me,

Seven or Eleven, snake eyes watching you,

Double up or quit, double stake or split,

The Ace Of Spades

You know I'm born to lose, and gambling's for fools,

But that's the way I like it baby,

I don't wanna live for ever,

And don't forget the joker!

Pushing up the ante, I know you wanna see me,

Read 'em and weep, the dead man's hand again,

I see it in your eyes, take one look and die,

The only thing you see, you know it's gonna be,

The Ace Of Spades

Oh man. If this was one of 12 songs I had to listen to for the rest of my life, I would surely hang myself from a palm tree immediately. But then again, how could I possibly expect to hear a good selection from someone who claims that Pavement is the worst band of all time?

I decided to answer this desert island music question myself. The album I choose is Brighten the Corners by Pavement. I selected this album not only as a fuck you to Phil Freeman, but also because I really think it is one of the greatest albums of all time. It's fun to listen to, it doesn't take itself too seriously, and yet at times it does get serious. The album is melodic and soothing at points, and totally rocking in others. Every song is an awesome masterpiece with genius lyrics. I first bought this album in my junior year of high school and it has been a regular staple of my music library ever since. Songs like "Stereo" and "Shady Lane" are incredible, instant favorites. But it's the songs like the last track "Fin" that keep me coming back for more. I rediscovered this song a few months ago and literally listened to it on repeat for an hour. I was taken away on a music journey. I know this sounds cheesy, but it's totally true. I will sum up my case for this album with a quote from pitchfork media:

"Still shocking the music world with their wacky, off-kilter brand of music, Pavement come back hard in 1997 with Brighten The Corners. Having never released an album that was even remotely bad, Pavement continue to awe with songs like "Shady Lane" and "We are Underused." Yeah, it's a fact. Stephen Malkmus and company pretty much got it goin' on."

Put that in your pipe and smoke it Mr. Freeman!!

But now, on to you... what is your desert island album? I hope to God it's not Motorhead.