Tuesday, December 9, 2008

True Idiot

I must admit, I'm getting really into the show True Blood. In two days, I've watched 4 hour-long episodes. Oopsies! I'll probably finish the season in the next 2 days. If you haven't seen it, you should definitely check it out on HBO's on demand. It's a super sexy show about vampires created by Alan Ball. The writing is great- I honestly can't remember the last time I've been so into a scripted show. Maybe it was in 1986 with the Golden Girls. Anyhoo, the acting is phenomenal, especially Rutina Wesley who plays Tara. I only have a few problems with the show:
  1. I want Anna Paquin to fuck the old vampire dude ASAP
  2. Using the vampires' civil rights issues as an allegory for racism towards black people is hitting the nail on the head a bit too hard. It's a cool idea but they need to tone it down a bit.
  3. The gap between Anna Paquin's teeth is pretty out of control.
Other than that, True Blood is pretty much perfect.

And speaking of true shows, I caught an episode of MTV's True Life which was truly ridiculous. The episode, called I'm Getting Married 2, featured two young couples in their quest to get married. One of the couples, Jason and Melissa, was living in France while the Jason was studying abroad. Melissa kept wanting to get married but the Jason kept putting it off for whatever reason. Keep in mind that Melissa is totally hot while Jason is a complete clown who speaks with a lisp. The kid just can't manage to keep his tongue in his mouth!

In an attempt to be "romantic" Jason plans their entire wedding in like 2 days after he finishes his finals. And he plans it as a SURPRISE. As in- he doesn't tell Melissa "Gee, we're getting married tomorrow! Maybe you should get your nails done. Or your hair did. Or make sure you're not on the rag. Don't forget to pop that zit!" Nope. None of those pleasantries.

Jason also decides to go to a French bakery to purchase a wedding cake. He wants them to just give it to him since he is getting married the next day. The last time I checked, wedding cakes can't be whipped up in 5 minutes. He also goes to a marketplace where he attempts to purchase a garter belt and shoes for his bride to be. I'm not sure if he knew her shoe size, but he definitely didn't know how to speak French. "Can I pleath have thomething thpethial for my future wife? Thoes? Qu'est-ce que c'est thoes?" And so the shopping trip was a complete disaster.

He finally decides to tell her right before the wedding so she can... you know... put on her wedding dress, which she has conveniently already picked, purchased, and carried around with her everywhere she's been for the past 4 years just in case she should need it. On the car ride to said wedding, the most amazing thing happens. Melissa is sad because she wishes she could have notified her parents so they could be there for her big day. As the car pulls around the corner, it's revealed that Jason has taken it upon himself to invite the family who is standing there to greet the couple. As a tearful Melissa hugs her parents, Jason turns to the camera, pumps his fist and says, "YESTH!" It's a moment of sheer lisping glory.
Check out the clip below: (to skip to the best part, fast forward to 1 minute and 10 seconds in)


itsbritneybitch said...

I hope you were fucken kidding when you said Tara is your favorite. Her acting, accent, and crazy back muscles make me physically angry. Although, that one episode where she wore the pink prom dress almost made up for having to deal with her, almost.

Anonymous said...

I personally know the couple you are insulting in your post and all I have to say is you should spend more time peddling your ugly clay "sculptures" ,being a brooklyn hipster, and writing blogs about blouses. That will leave less time for insulting a guy who did his best to hook his girlfriend up with a beautiful wedding in a nice place in France.

I understand the most romantic thing a guy has ever done for you is probably put a bow on top of a sixer of pabst before bringing it over on his fixed gear, but thats no reason to insult a nice person who even after editing appears to be doing nothing more then trying to be a nice guy to his girlfriend.

Next time you try to write a witty scathing review on one of your important blog subjects such as "MTV reality shows" or "play doh art". Atleast insult the guy on the show who is an ass.

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