Saved By the Bell Stars Step It Up

I have not yet seen Bravo's new show Step It Up and Dance, nor do I care to. However, I do think it's pretty amazing that Bravo hired Elizabeth Berkeley to host. Why? Is it because when she played Jessie Spano, she was so excited to sing and dance on Saved By the Bell? Probably not. Was it because she was a star in the critically acclaimed SHOWGIRLS? Maybe it's because when Elizabeth was 5, her parents enrolled her at Detroit Dance Company. In any case, it seems pretty absurd that a washed up child star who doesn't know shit about dancing would host a dancing competition.

Similarly, why the hell is Mario Lopez the host of America's Best Dance Crew? Did his time spent as A.C. Slater make him the perfect candidate for the job? Or was it the weeks of experience he gained on Dancing With the Stars?

I guess my real question is, why are the kids from Saved By the Bell being utilized as Reality Dancing Show hosts? And what of poor Zach, Screech and Lisa Turtle? What shows do they get to host? I'm sure they'll be pleased to know that I've given them all jobs on reality shows I've just created right now.

Congrats Lark Voorhies! You get to host the new reality series Mall Survival! Your experience playing the fashion-maven shopping expert Lisa Turtle on television 15 years ago makes you the perfect fit for the position! In this exciting new show, 16 lucky contestants are placed in a mall indefinitely. They will be given no resources and will not be allowed to leave the mall until completion of the game. Last one to survive wins!

Bravo, Dustin Diamond! Your experience playing the robot loving Screech Powers has landed you a hosting gig on the new reality show The Real House Robots of Orange County! This new show features a look at five families living in a protected Southern California enclave, and the real-life house robots who reside in one of the wealthiest planned communities in the country.

Well done Mark-Paul Gosselaar!

Your time spent playing the detention-prone Zach Morris has secured your position as the new host of Detention With the Stars! In this new series, child celebrities match up with real kids in detention and compete against each other in weekly elimination rounds to determine a winner.

Come on Bravo execs. You know you want to pick this shit up.