Thursday, November 15, 2007

Project Run-gay

For those of you living under a rock, last night was one of the biggest events in recent TV history. Tim Gunn and Heidi Klum reunited on the premiere of Project Runway's Season 4 last night. It was glorious. We laughed. We cried. Nina Garcia scowled. Michael Kors said "farty."
I'm not going to give a full-on recap... I will leave that to the more talented bloggers like Rich at fourfour. But because I feel so passionately about the show, I would like to take this opportunity to say a few words about my initial impressions of the 15 contestants... starting with the loser:




-Simone, 32

Boring Untalented Loser

Let's face it- her dress was poorly constructed, her jacket was fugly, and she was pretty boring. I'm glad she got kicked off rather than Elisa, because at least Elisa will provide some good entertainment. Also, I know this solidifies me as a Bravo reality geek, but didn't Simone remind you of Top Design's Felicia?

Felicia


Simone
















-Sweet P, 46

Creepy Burnt-Out Weirdo

She got her nickname during her stint in an all girl motorcycle club called Hells Belles. Enough said.



-Victorya, 34

Token Asian Chick

She actually seems like one of the only contestants I'll like this season. Although the sleeves were ridiculous, I thought the dress she made was pretty sweet.



-Steven, 30

Red-haired Gay Guy

It's up to him to continue the trend Dale started on Top Chef. His weasel face kind of makes me want to barf.







-Rami, 31

Talented Guido Dude

He looks like a sleaze that would grind you on the dance floor of some club in the meat packing district. However! His dress was SO good that I have to route for him. For now...



-Jack, 38

Preppy, Gay Extrovert


I'm pretty sure I read somewhere that this guy has some weird explosive AIDS related outbreak and has to leave the show...




-Jillian, 26

Catty Stuck-up Bitch

I knew I hated her from the start when she was bitching about working for Ralph Lauren as if it was so terrible. She seems like a snobbier version of Lauren from The Hills.




- Ricky 35

Fievel Goes West

Silly Ricky wears a floppy hat just like Fievel, and my high school ex-boyfriend, also conveniently named Ricky. I made a video of Ricky morphing into Fievel. You can watch it here



-Kit, 26

Pretentious, Misunderstood Hipster

When I first saw Kit, I wanted to give her a chance because I liked her style. Then she opened her mouth and my hatred began. And her dress was shiteous.




-Marion, 39

Under-rated with Rickets

This guy is my favorite so far. I don't know much about him but he made my favorite dress and he shares a name with my favorite librarian. But he needs some sun.




-Kevin, 30

Straight Guy? Hmmm

This guy wants us to know he's straight. That's about all I remember about him, besides the fact that he thinks he's really hot. And he's not.



- Carmen, 37

Fierce Former Model

I thought this chick was really cool but as the episode went on, she really started to scare me. She strikes me as more militant than fashionable. Her good personal style did not reflect at all in the putrid outfit she designed.



-Chris, 44


Heart Attack Leopard

OMG. This guy is fucking amazing. He is for sure one of my faves! When everyone went running for the fabric, the cut-away shots of Chris trying to catch up while gripping his chest were amazing. And when he finally arrived, the only fabric remaining was just the horrid fabric he wanted! I also love how in the previews he says, "If I could be any fabric, it would be leopard." He can make an outfit out of salad ingredients! Obvs! xoxoxox



-Christian, 21

Arrogant Hipster Fucktard

Seriously. This guy is a mega-dork. I like how he insists that he's "a pretty big deal." Oooo! You worked with some weirdo designers in London? I'm sooo impressed!! The dress he made that the judges fawned over was frumpy and bad. I want to punch him in the glasses.



-Elisa, 42

Wondrous Earthy Clown

Oh Elisa, you fill my little heart with joy. Forcing grass stains upon expensive silk, using your own body and a dress form, and creating a garment that "poos fabric." You are made of magic, you sweet patchouli burning, compost having pixie. Carry on!

1 comment:

Mom said...

I totally agree with your character assassination--um assessment. Your commentary about Chris made me laugh out loud. You are so right!!!! I'm just sad that we can't watch it together.