In My Garage (I don't feel safe)

A few months ago, Galen and I rose to extreme levels of luxury when we got a parking space in our Greenpoint apartment building. The spot has helped us avoid getting the car encased by the terrors of the Snowpocalype, and today's Snowpocalypse Jr.

I'm not trying to be a snob or nothin', but the garage could be a bit more aesthetically pleasing. Let's just say that our landlord appears to have picked up some decorating tips from either a zombie or a Grabage Pail Kid. Shall we take a virtual tour?

This is the entry way. You'll notice that instead of a welcome mat, there's a broken down van and charming pile of rubbish.


Then to your left, there's a pile of old refrigerators labeled "keep" with sharpie and masking tape. They have a certain "old-world charm" about them, don't they? Maybe I'll be lucky enough to receive one someday. Thank God they'll be waiting safely in the garage until then.



I believe this is a piece by Marcel Duchamp.


And the finishing touch, probably added for the purposes of Feng Shui, is this vehicle of doom. If Skeletor drove a golf cart, this would be it. I'm not certain what this automobile is used for, but I'm sure it's very important.