I suppose it's about time I weigh in on the Top Chef finale. Eh. I made a cartoon:
I have to admit, for all that shit talking I've done about Carla, I kind of wanted her to win. Her warm, fuzzy, lovable soul finally won over my blackened heart by the final episode. I blame the editors for this. I wouldn't have been too upset if Stefan won either because he reminds me of Deiter from Sprockets and I think it's sexy when he says the word twat. But Hosea? Really folks? That guy is such a bozo. It's a good thing the golden baby and the oh-so-prestigeous Glad Family of Products smiled upon him. In a normal world, Hosea would have packed his knives and received his one-way ticket to clown town a long time ago.
And now there's rumors that Bozo Rosenberg and Leah the Fish Slayer are making out all over NYC. Barf. I wonder if Bravo will make a reality show about their scandlous relationship called Two Twats: A Love Story.
In any case, I guess it's not really about winning. Gawker said it best when they wrote " Hosea's $100,000 can't buy him imagination or intelligence or his hair back." I don't think Hosea will do that great in non-reality show life, but who knows. Everyone is really into harping on him right now (he really makes it easy by looking like such a doofus) but he might not be so bad. I mean, he wasn't terrible - he just wasn't good. If the editors had spun it differently, maybe we would have seen Hosea as the BFG/lovable underdog. We never tasted his food so whatevs.
We at home are left to judge these chefs on two things: their personality and the way their food look on a plate. And if I had my way, Fabio would be the winner because he is so sweet (zuh-weet.) I am going to make a trip to visit my favorite Italian stallion in all his fauxhawk glory at his restaurant Cafe Firenze. I love you Fabio! I'll suck on your spehgetti any day.