Saturday, January 3, 2009

New Year, New Stuff, Asshole Jump Rope

Happy New Year everybody! I'm so excited for 2009 for the following reasons:
1. I won't have to hear annoying Christmas music blaring in every store I enter for a very long time
2. I'll be able to stay warm with my fabulous new cowl from Yarn Over Movement! It's literally the best thing ever.3. I got some sweet-ass bling from Alex & Chloe.
Hooray! So what did you do for New Years Eve? I brought in 2009 by partying with these clowns:
And then I was sooo pooped the next day that all I could do was cuddle on the couch with Pancake.

As far as resolutions go- I decided I'm going to stop being such a fatty ASAP. I went on a diet where I only eat rice cakes, tuna and edemame. Because I know it's important to exercise too, I did what any normal fitness guru would do...I bought a talking jump rope. This is my grand plan for staying in shape. It's supposed to cheer you on and encourage you to keep exercising, but when I used it today, it yelled at me and told me I was going too slow. Not wanting to let my jump rope down, I went even faster. My legs felt like jello and my brain was sloshing around in my head but I jumped at lighting speed. And you know what my jump rope had to say about it? "I'm falling asleep." Then it made a fake yawning noise. I'm serious.

When I got mad and threw it at the ground, it actually had the audacity to say, "You're crazy." No jump rope, you're crazy. Crazy like a fox. My jump rope and I aren't on speaking terms right now but tomorrow is a new day. Hopefully as I get fitter, my jump rope will be more polite.

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