Diplo & The Greenpoint Ass Goblin

On Friday night/Sat. morning, I went to see Diplo at Studio B. While I'm not huge into DJ's and dance music, Diplo is sort of on another level. If you have never heard him before, check this out his pitchfork mix to hear what I'm talking about. When I found out Diplo was playing in NYC I was really happy, but I was even happier when I realized the show was a few blocks away from my apartment! I never even realized there was a club in my very own Greenpoint before. Studio B is a cool place-- big enough for a good party but not so big that you feel lost. Anyway, I was a little nervous about Fri. night's "party" for a few reasons:

A. It was from 10PM-4AM
B. I had been drinking all afternoon (thanks open bar company lunch) and was hung over by 6PM
C. I'm 26 years old
D. I don't do drugs.

I have only been to one rave before and that was when I was 17. Now, almost 10 years later, I was very uncertain about how I would handle an all-night dance-athon. I mean sure, in LA I went dancing at clubs plenty of times but they all closed at 2AM. I decided I had to give it a shot anyway, and after several more beers, I headed out for Studio B with my friend Craig.

When we got in, we were greeted by a dude with a balloon for a head. Surkin was spinning and the party was already in full-effect. I downed a couple of redbull/vodka beverages and was ready to hit the dance floor.

Diplo came on and really tuned it up a notch. We danced our asses off for 2 straight hours. It was great because there were small snippets of Daft Punk and MIA, but the mix was pretty different from Diplo's pitchfork mix (linked above.) My brother saw this show in Seattle and complained that Diplo pretty much played the pitchfork mix exactly-- perhaps because he was burnt out in the middle of his tour. But this show was a lot different. Everyone seemed really into it and was dancing non stop. By the end of the second hour we were both dripping with sweat and feeling claustrophobic. The dance floor was getting more packed by the minute, and when Diplo asked that all the girls to get on the stage and dance, I knew this was my chance to run away. After catching a breather and getting our dance on on the outskirts of the dance floor, we started to feel a little fatigued. It was after 3AM, and at this point I had a double hangover-- oops! Even though Diplo was still playing and I felt a second wind coming on, Craig and I decided to be "responsible" adults and head out. When we got outside, the blast of 30 degree air was met with appreciation.

Craig jumped in a cab and I continued to walk home by myself down Manhattan Ave. It seemed a little unsafe but I felt ok about it because there was a hipster guy walking in front of me. Not that I expected the tight pants-wearing fellow to come to my rescue if I were attacked, but I expected that his presence alone would discourage any sort of foul play. After walking for a couple blocks, the guy pulled his pants down, squatted over and mooned me!!

"Certainly that must have been some sort of mistake," I thought to myself. I was convinced that the guy was just pulling up his pants that- despite their extreme tightness- were somehow falling down.

I turned down India St. and was just half a block away from home when I heard the sound of someone running up behind me. Low and behold, the hipster returned to run in front of me and dropped trow once again!! He pulled his pants back up and started to run away but I grabbed his arm.

"Hey! What the fuck! Why do you keep doing that!" I yelled.

The hipster shook himself free from my grip and whimpered a sad, "I don't know" before running away. While I was mostly disgusted, I was also sort of depressed by this guy. Maybe he is just addicted to pulling down his pants. Like- it's to a point where he just can't help it anymore. I have hereby deemed him the Greenpoint Ass Goblin. If anyone has more information on his whereabouts, please let me know.